A way you can tell if you’re whispering or not is to put your hand at your throat. If you feel vibrations, you’re talking. If you don’t, you’re whispering…
…Another way to tell is: if there’s nothing above your throat, then you’ve been decapitated and are, therefore, not whispering.”


“There are one million ants to every human in the world……A hostile takeover is imminent.”

“There are one million ants to every human in the world…
…A hostile takeover is imminent.”


“During the day, if someone sings a song around you, 90% chance you will find yourself singing it sometime during the day!……There is a 5% chance that, on that same day, you will gouge that person’s eyes out with a rusty spoon.”

“During the day, if someone sings a song around you, 90% chance you will find yourself singing it sometime during the day!…
…There is a 5% chance that, on that same day, you will gouge that person’s eyes out with a rusty spoon.”


“Dolphins and humans are the only animals that mate for fun……But not together…usually…” 

“Dolphins and humans are the only animals that mate for fun…
…But not together…usually…” 

“If a wolverine was the size of a bear, it would be the strongest animal on Earth…
…Unless, of course, another wolverine were the size of a whale, in which case, the bear-sized wolverine’s title would be usurped.”

“1 acre of wheat can produce enough bread to feed a family of 4 for about 10 years…
….As long as they don’t die from scurvy first.”


  “Less than 38% of the US population is eligible to donate blood……willingly.”

  “Less than 38% of the US population is eligible to donate blood…
…willingly.”

“A koala’s appendix is about 2 meters long…
…And it puts up one hell of a fight.”


"A canary bird that can’t sing will never find a mate……Nor win American Idol.”

"A canary bird that can’t sing will never find a mate…
…Nor win American Idol.”

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis means lung disease. It is 45 letters long and it is the longest English word……And if you have lung disease, by the time you’ve informed someone using this term, you’ll have suffocated and died.” 
"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis means lung disease. It is 45 letters long and it is the longest English word…
…And if you have lung disease, by the time you’ve informed someone using this term, you’ll have suffocated and died.”